Keen On Boys
by Muted Spirit
Summary: Spinelli/Jason -- because there isn't enough slash for them.


_It wasn't supposed to be like this._

Jason came home to the dark of his apartment and walked slowly to the lamp, turning it on and letting the soft light illuminate the room. He sighed wearily as he took off his leather jacket, throwing it over the back of his desk chair and ran a tired hand over his eyes.

"No. My laptop, minions of evil..." Jason barely made out the words being mumbled.

Turning slowly he surveyed his living room to find Spinelli fast asleep on the couch, laptop powered down and cradled in his arms like some sort of teddy-bear. He sighed once more at the sight of Spinelli, the boy who had just been on his mind only minutes ago as he was off "protecting the night" or whatever Spinelli would call it.

Jason crossed the room silently, thanking God he had enough practice to go so undetected all the time, and sunk down into the chair across from Spinelli. He examined the boy's face, which seemed to be slightly contorted in some sort of nightmare.

From what he could gather of the half-coherently muttered phrases it had something to do with someone trying to take his laptop, his precious laptop. Jason was not sure he could picture the kid without his laptop – either clacking away on it with his eyes brightly determined, or walking down the street with it snugly in his messenger bag.

"I am The Jackal... you'll be sorry... Stone Cold!" Jason couldn't help but to smile a little to think that he was in his dreams, his subconscious. A warm feeling flooded through his entire body as he watched him still clearly asleep, battling some sort of imagined foe.

Jason wasn't sure exactly when his feelings for Spinelli had crossed that invisible line. The line of friendship to... _attraction._ Jason sighed once more. He hated being attracted to the kid, hated admitting it to himself even in the dark of his own apartment, in the dark corners of his own mind. Spinelli looked up to him, he was his mentor, his brother... and even a few wonderful times got to be his hero.

It was like thinking about Spinelli in that capacity was wrong. Spinelli trusted him and he shouldn't be imagining the things that he so often did. What would it be like to cut off his endless run-on sentences with his mouth, his tongue, his wandering hands? What would it be like to be able to hold him when that undeniable pain seeped into those beautiful eyes, the pain of not being enough when he may just be everything?

As if Jason's mind had momentarily shut down with the thoughts, his hands took the opportunity to reach out and brush a thick hank of Spinelli's unruly hair away from his face, and couldn't help but to laugh quietly as it fell back down into it's original place. That was something else Jason quite regularly fixated on – Spinelli's hair. He would probably rather die than to admit it, but he just wanted to get lost in the mess of it...

Spinelli stirred momentarily, making Jason's heart catch at the thought of being caught with his hand in his friend's hair. He untangled it quickly from the wacky strands and pressed his fingers to his temple, trying to rub away the headache that was beginning to build.

Why had this happened? He never meant to have feelings for anyone – let alone a guy – let alone Spinelli! All he knew was that it happened and that somehow he had to get it to stop. He missed when he thought of the kid as an annoying pain in the side. It hadn't lasted long, of course. Anyone could've seen Spinelli had a big heart and always meant well, he was just a bit of a social misfit.

Spinelli moved again in his sleep, holding the laptop closer to his chest, breathing even and peaceful now. Jason assumed he made it safely away from the _minions of evil. _

"Maximista... Beautiful, courageous Maximista..." Spinelli murmured into the couch, that all too familiar dopey smile plastered against his face. "I love you."

Jason's heart caught and twisted painfully at the words. He knew Spinelli only had eyes for Maxie, even though she was clearly nothing but trouble. Jason couldn't judge too badly on that though, he knew she was loyal, and that she cared deeply for Spinelli even if she was completely oblivious to his feelings for her.

He wished Spinelli could find someone who would love him for who he was. Jason didn't understand how it could possibly be so hard. He loved him. Secretly, of course, and he was beginning to understand how Spinelli felt all those times chasing after Lulu, and then Maxie. Understood what it was like to want something so perfectly unattainable.

"Maximista," Spinelli murmured once more.

Jason stood up and walked to the stairs, intent on leaving Spinelli to his happy dreams. The dreams that didn't include him in the way he wanted and that never would. Once he reached the top of the stairs he couldn't resist glancing back just once more at the soundly sleeping kid on his couch.

Spinelli was right, Jason did have a secret pain, it just wasn't the one he had thought...


End file.
